13. If it is important to you, you will find a way
This one’s pretty simple. If something is really important
to you, you will find a way to make it happen.
It doesn’t matter how tired you are, how busy you, or if you have
challenges in your way. If you truly
want something, you will make it a priority.
14. There is more than one way to get where you’re going
Maybe it’s partly due to being completely Type A, but I’ve
discovered that things don’t always almost never go my way. I’m very much a
strategist and a planner and try to plan for every scenario possible, but
things don’t necessarily always go the way I imagined them. Many times I reach my goals or get what I
want, but it’s almost never the way I originally intended to. It seems like the road to success is not
quite as linear as I conceived it. It’s
more like two steps forward, three steps back, circle around go over the
mountain, fall in the moat, do the tango and then get there. You may not have
taken the most scenic path to get there, but what’s important is you got to
your destination. “The best laid plans of mice and men….”
15. Don’t let the fear of failure hinder you
How many times have I not committed to something or gone
through with something, just because I was scared I wasn’t going to succeed? One
of my biggest fears happens to be failure, but why? I’m a person that puts 110%
or 0% into something; there’s really no in between. So me trying my best and failing at it, seems
like the most dreadful thing that can possibly happen. A deep ceded fear of
being inadequate haunts all of us as humans. But there are lessons to be learned
from failure. They challenge us, they show us we can push farther, and they
shed light on opportunities for us to succeed the next time around.
16. Mourning does not have a timeline
In life, you are going to inevitably loose a lot of things,
including loved ones. Some will be friends you lost touch with, some will be
romantic heartbreaks, and other times death will take take loved ones from you.
For each of these you will mourn; in different ways. But know that mourning
does not have a timeline. There’s no
magic eating 4 cartons of Ben & Jerry’s icecream and you’re ready for a new
lover. There’s no getting a new puppy to replace the loss of another. There’s
not even a certain amount of time that you can expect things to return to
normal after a death. There are months I go without feeling the emptiness in my
heart and have adjusted to “the new normal”; then one day it hits me. I’m paralyzed by the cavity in my heart. I’m talking can’t get out of bed, think it’s
all a horrible nightmare that I’ve been awaken from kind of paralyzing. Mourning never gets easier, but you adjust.
Just know that no person, self help book, or preacher can tell you when you’re
over it. You will never be. Anything that is ever missing from your heart
is going to have lifelong effects. The best you can do is patch the pieces back
together and fill them with memories and
new passions.
17. Forgive
Anger is one of the most basic of human emotions. And it’s
so easy to hold onto for forever. The thing about anger though is it turns into
resentment. Then it escalates and boils
and slowly takes over and transforms into resentment. It’s hard to let go of
that, especially when you’ve been holding on to it for a long time. Ultimately, the only person the anger hurts
is you. So forgive. No matter how much you were hurt or betrayed, be the bigger
person and forgive. You’d be amazed at
how much relief forgiving someone else can bring peace to your mind. If God can forgive the unforgiveable in you, you
can forgive someone else. But please do not confuse forgiveness with restitution
or second chances.
18. Never settle
Too many things in life are ordinary. As we grow older,
things that once caused amazement and wonder have grown dull and lackluster. There
are far too many times I’ve settled; in relationships, in jobs, in friendships.
Thinking they were good enough, thinking that I didn’t want to step out of my
comfort zone and change. Then there finally comes a point where you realize
life is too short for ordinary. Settling becomes mundane and you crave
something more. You owe it to your heart
and yourself to find joy in life, and not just typical joy. I’m talking excited, butterflies in the
stomach, awe of fireworks amazing. Waiting and hoping, far exceeds the comfort
of settling.
19. You will never truly be ready for anything
No matter how much preparation you may do, there is never
going to be anything you are truly ready to do.
There will still be anxieties, you will still be nervous, but you can
still do it. Life is going to throw a
lot of things at you, and many are going to be at not so convenient times. But
you also can’t wait around until you think you are ready, or you’ll be waiting
for the rest of your life.
20. Learn to say no
This is one I definitely had to learn the hard way during
grad school. I had a real problem saying no to people. I thought I could do everything for everybody.
Since I haven’t figured out a way to clone myself or add more hours in the day,
I had to learn to say no to people for my own sanity. You can’t do everything for everybody without
neglecting yourself.
21. Find the Silver Lining
There are days, weeks, even months when nothing seems to be
going my way. The easiest thing to do in this situation is be bitter, give up
and get discouraged. But don’t. Even out
of what are seemingly impossible circumstances, you can find the silver lining.
Within a month I lost my favorite person in the world and broke up with what I
thought was the love of my life. Things weren’t looking so hot, and I moped and
I mourned. But the silver lining of it
all is that I now had the opportunity to cultivate closer relationships with
other family members. I had time for the
first time in my life to figure out what I wanted out of life and not mold it
around what someone else wanted. Silver linings can serve as your glimmer of
hope to keep you going in other wise dark situations.
22. Comparison is an illusion
It’s so easy to compare our lives to others. Part of the
picture we don’t realize however, is that we are comparing ourselves to
different parts of others stories. Your
beginning has no comparison to someone else’s middle. We move through life at
different paces. We compare ourselves to other’s successes and yet look at our
own failures. We often flaunt our
triumphs, which is all others see, but this is just an illusion. We don’t air our defeats, our obstacles that
got in the way of our success. Comparison is nothing but an illusion, a magic
trick that makes us feel inferior.
23. Be Humble
It doesn’t matter what color you are, what your religion is,
how old you are, what your sexual preference is, what sex you are or how much
money you have… we all end up in the same size grave. There are people that will come from all
walks of life, into your life. Each of
them has something they can teach you.
24. There are no coincidences
You can’t tell me out of 100 million sperm, of the 50 that
make it to the fallopian tubes, of the one that connects with egg, that is only
available for a short 12 hour period during the entire month, that there are
coincidences. It’s no coincidence that every living thing we know contains DNA
and replicates in it own special way.
You can’t tell me it’s a coincidence that we circle a ball of fire that
sustains millions of species of life, tilted at 23.50 , traveling at
1,000 mph that just changing this by millimeters would through the whole orbit
off. I don’t believe in coincidences. I believe everything has a reason and
that fate is as real as any tangible object sitting in front of me.
25. Trust God’s plan
An ongoing struggle
with myself and the universe is thinking I know best. As it turns out, I don’t. Garth Brook’s once said, “Some of God’s
greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.” Few statements have been truer. I have
fought tooth and nails for things that were not meant for me. Hoped and prayed
for situations in my life to be resolved, that were meant to be walked away
from. You have to be willing to let go of the life you have planned, to get to
life God has planned for you. Having faith in God, includes having faith in His
timing.
Cheers to life, the lessons it's taught me, the growing pains along the way, and the path it will lead me to ahead.
Cheers to life, the lessons it's taught me, the growing pains along the way, and the path it will lead me to ahead.
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