Why Dating Apps are More Horrific Than Actual Dates

The Premise 

Dating SUCKS. Ok, let me rephrase that: the process of dating sucks. I could probably dedicate an entire post solely to why dating sucks, but I'll save that for another day. I believe the hardest part of dating is the initial phase, or what I like to call the Scavenging Phase.

The Scavenging Phase is where you first start looking for a potential date. Mind you this isn't to be confused with the Hunting Phase. During the Hunting Phase you at least know what you're doing; however during the Scavenging Phase you're just trying to figure out where you even begin looking for people to date. I turned to trying out these dating apps because of my utter disappointment with the Scavenging Phase.  Some surveys have analyzed the most common ways to meet people. You can read more about that here. I looked at these methods and this is a list of what it looks like to be completely burnout on the scavenging phase and why these methods weren't doing it for me.

• Meeting People when Out at Bars: These people just aren't top quality and probably not people looking to get into relationships.  I mean if your initial conversation is over a few cocktails-do you really expect things to go anywhere? No, these guys are looking for a McDonalds woman-fast, easy and cheap. And if that's what you want too, I highly suggest the bar scene. Example: after an incredibly handsome guy started hitting on me and I figured out exactly what he wanted-I told him I had no intention of sleeping with him. He literally walked off and started talking to another girl... and DONE. 
• Meeting People You've Been Set Up With: Sounds great in theory. They're your friend's friend... so at least you have that in common. But then you realize the only reason you've been set up is because you're each the ONLY other single person your friends know. They have great intentions-but it feels like a last resort type thing. Oh you're single? You should really meet my friend John-he's single too!  And right there is exactly where the commonalities stop-we're both single. That's the extent of our compatibility. 
• Meeting People at Work: This might be ideal for some people. I think it'd be slightly awkward because you have to continue to see these people, in spite of how things end. Realistically it just isn't an option for me. I work with 3 men. One is married, one is gay and one is a senior citizen. None of the above are options I want to pursue. Oh and the other companies/individuals I work in conjunction with? All married men over the age 50. Isn't the medical field great?

I had friends that had tried out these apps and told me how great they were. I didn't feel like I really had anything to loose by trying these out, especially considering how over the Scavenging Phase I was. The silver lining was if they didn't work out-I figured they could at least make a blog post-so here we are!  I was originally going to try out at least 3 apps, but after hating the first 2, I decided that I just couldn't handle any more.

The Apps 

Tinder

The first app I tried out was the oh so famous (infamous?) Tinder. 

Pros: 

• Quick and easy to set up-No spending hours trying to make your profile perfect
• Finds people in close approximation to you-Because your Prince Charming living 8 hours away just isn't ideal
• Knows commonalties-Lets you know if you have friends in common or have liked the same pages
• Possibilites-You can swipe right/left to as many people as you want

Cons: 

• Booty Call-you might as well have just posted a Craig's List ad to be an escort. At least you'd get paid. No... I'm not DTF random person. 
• Lots of Matches- Lots of people matched with me. And that's it. Great to know you like me-in a superficial sense at least, but that's as far as things went. No follow up. No messages. No nothing. 
• Don't really know the person-They can choose not to write a description. So you're solely going off looks or profile pictures. If there's multiple selfies, pictures with girls or a picture with a baby, I immediately swipe left. 
• The quality of people-I feel like Tinder was filled with people I would never in a million years meet in real life social situations. Call me shallow, but it's been scientifically proven the more commonalities (education level, political views, religion, SES, etc.) you have, the higher the success of a relationship. Sorry but "baby daddy, looking for baby mama," people who have poor spelling/grammar in their profiles or dude too lazy to get a new profile picture (because you can clearly see the ex girlfriend cropped out)-Just aren't the type of men I want or would even glance towards if we met in person. 

Conclusion: 

If you want a hookup or ego boost-get Tinder. 

If you want an actual relationship, stay away at all costs. 

I never went on a single Tinder date. The only people that messaged me just wanted a hook up. Men like you and never talk to you. I would actually prefer meeting people in bars to ever trying Tinder again. At least guys at bars have enough balls to actually start a conversation with you. You might even get a free drink. After about a week of being serious on Tinder-I decided to make it a fun game. I would just swipe right to random people I would never in a million years say yes too-only to see if I liked them if they would like me back. It works 4/5 times. Tinder and me: NOT A MATCH. 

Coffee Meets Bagel 

I can honestly say I was semi-optimistic about this app. I had friends who tried it and went on several dates as a result. I read into the science behind it-and it made sense. Perhaps my expectations were too high because it was utterly disappointing. 

Pros: 

• Very customizable- You can set all of your preferences: age, ethnicity, location and religion. Sociologist Courtney definitely approves of this platform. Why? Homophily. 
• Quality of People- On paper these are guys that I might actually consider dating. Most were educated and held good jobs. Here's a great video that explains why this is important from a female perspective. 

Cons:

• You get 1 match a day-Ain't nobody got time for that. I waited 24 hours and you matched me with someone shitty. 
• Second Chances-You can pass on a person, but if they like you, your match the next day will be the SAME person you already passed on. Did I mention you only get 1 a day? And I already said no once, so you just wasted my 1 match of the day. Just because he likes me doesn't mean I'm suddenly going to like him. CMB needs to go to a rape seminar-No means NO. 
• Matching Algorithm- Like I said, maybe my expectations were too high. I spent a while filling out all my age, religion and ethnicity preferences. However out of all the matches I got, I think only 1 met at least 2 of the criteria. All the rest-met none of the criteria at all. RUDE. 
• No matches- There's nothing like having to wait an excruciating 24 hours to see if you might like a new person tomorrow-only to be let down the MAJORITY of times to see that "Thanks for your patience as we work on finding you your next Bagel. It'll be worth the wait." Seriously? There's NO ONE for me to date? I've had friends say there's 300,000 people in Corpus; 150,000 of them are men, so you have plenty of people to date.... Well CMB Thank you for confirming what I've theorized all along... there are no decent unmarried men, without children, that are educated and hold steady jobs South of the San Antonio River. 

Conclusion:

I gave CMB 2 full weeks of being serious. I never "liked" a single person I was matched with. NOT ONE. After my 2 weeks of seriousness I did "like" the one guy who matched 2 of the criteria I had chosen-but nothing came of it. And I honestly only liked him because he met part of my preference criteria-I thought maybe CMB algorithm plays into whether or not you "like" the people you have preferences for. Note: it does not. This is also a guy, had I met in person, would have never dated. I was just desperate to find someone who liked me that we had some common ground. 

And this concludes why dating apps are worse than actually trying to look for someone to date. 

• They're misleading.  You think they'll somehow be a plethora of available men. There are-they just just all suck. In fact a whole new level of suck that differentiates them from the creepers you meet at the bar. 
• Proves that men are pussies. DUH men like me. I'm a female and attractive. I think those are pretty much the qualities they look for. Instead of being oblivious to people liking me in the real world- I know these people actually like me and won't do anything about it. I've been told I'm intimidating- but if you are a random person I've never met and you don't have enough balls to say hi-you have a problem. I've heard many people say they love online dating because they get the chance to say things to people they wouldn't ordinarily say in real life. But guess what men can't even say hi. Pussies. 
• Time Consuming. If I devoted as much time to looking for a real date as I did the hours of setting up profiles and sifting through people- I might have found a person the old fashioned way. 

So back to the scavenging fields. Or maybe not. Maybe I'll just hope that Netflix sets up a dating site and someone who has also binge watched House of Cards for the last 3 hours will show up with a bottle of wine. And at least we'd have a common show to talk about. Or maybe I'll just work on my world domination plan. Or take up knitting. Can humans be asexual or is that just earthworms?