Planned Parenthood: Libertarian Edition

I am a woman. I work in healthcare. I’m arguably no expert in either area, but it can certainly be inferred that both of these topics deeply resonate with me.

This is not your stereotypical conservative “defund planned parenthood” because of abortions rant.  This is not your stereotypical liberal “a woman has a right to decide what happens to her body” argument.  No, this my friend is a libertarian’s view of the conundrum.  

Planned Parenthood provides low cost health services to individuals. These services range from preventative screenings, to contraceptive planning and abortion.

Are these services needed health resources? Absolutely.

This notion that defunding Planned Parenthood is taking away reproductive rights of women, is not only unfounded, but completely inaccurate. Under the Affordable Care Act it is mandated that individuals have health insurance. So why then are the services of Planned Parenthood needed?  Under this new act, preventative services and contraceptives are covered at no cost to the consumer.[1]  Women’s rights are not being taken away-you can still receive these services; No one is putting a contraband on OBGYNs.

The cost of birth control, (no I’m not strictly talking about hormonal pills here, I’m talking about any method or preferably combination of methods) including abstinence, condoms, pulling out, rhythm method, pills, patches, implants rings, shots, IUDs, or diaphragms is assuredly far cheaper, both financially and emotionally than the cost of an abortion.

American medicine is practiced consequently, rather than preventatively. People make decisions that affect their health: for instance, not living a healthy, active lifestyle or eating a balanced diet when a known product of this is PREVENTABLE type 2 diabetes mellitus. No, instead of medicine focusing on preventing this disease, we enact defensive medicine and instead give you insulin, then cholesterol meds, then amputate your foot, all because you could not make a conscious decision to control your life. Reaction rather than proaction.

In healthcare, if we have a sentinel event, we conduct a root cause analysis.  When the causes of said event have been determined, we eliminate or restructure them.  So if the root cause analysis of needing an abortion has been determined to be having unprotected sex, why then are we not eliminating this issue so that the sentinel event does not occur again?

Why is it that in this day and age, we are STILL arguing about the ethics and morality of abortion? A known and well documented consequence of choosing to have unprotected sex is pregnancy. You shouldn’t need an abortion, because you should be preventing the issue.

Another argument by pro Planned Parenthood activists is that what a women does to her body is her decision and not anyone else’s. TRUE. So if it is your body that you are electing to put into situations that may result you in needing an abortion, why is it MY job to pay for it instead of yours?

When a drug addict chooses to continue using illicit drugs that are wreaking havoc on their bodies and lives, is that their prerogative? Yes. But when they need recovery services is it my tax dollar’s responsibility to intervene?  No. So why is it that we’re treating unplanned pregnancy differently?

It all comes down to one crucial ideology that has somehow infected itself in American society: irresponsibility. In the last few decades we have slid down a slippery slope into entitlement of rights and abandonment of responsibility.  People are no longer accepting the consequences for their actions, but finding someone else to blame and expecting them to pay for them.

Women’s rights are a vital component of the healthcare equation.  We have come a long way since coat hangers. Roe v. Wade determined that women have a right to an abortion, however it never mentioned that society should condone or fund this decision.

Planned Parenthood should be defunded by the government. As has been seen by the VA catastrophe, government really has no place in providing health care. If all the advocates for PP want to start a donation campaign and privately fund it, by all means go ahead, I think a privately funded business that provides these services is perfectly acceptable.  The fact of the matter is, in today’s health system there is no need for such services since insurance is requisite, preventable measures are more than achievable and there is no infringement upon women’s liberties in the closing of this business.

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[1] https://www.healthcare.gov/coverage/birth-control-benefits/

9 Reasons Being a Bridesmaid Sucks

I’ve been a bridesmaid 7 times now (watch out Katherine Heigl I’m catching up quickly). Being asked to be a part of someone’s special day is both flattering and honorable.  Out of all the 7 billion people in the world, you were among a select few that made it to a small group that was chosen to stand by someone on what is one of the most important days of their life; how special are you?! However, nostalgia and glory aside, it’s a quite abysmal experience.

The War on Hypocrisy

Although I've written dozens of articles on political, civil and social views, I've never felt compelled to  post them on my personal blog. However, after this long week of many changes for the United States and seeing endless FaceBook wars (because clearly, heated, non-verbal communication always has a way of working out) I wanted to bring up one very important issues that resonates with me: hypocrisy.

Maybe it's the ENTJ in me, but I really think this country would be better served if we rallied together to stop the ignorance rather than creating new civil wars between sexual orientation, religion, ethnicity, etc. So please:

STOP WITH THE HYPOCRISY. 

Stop hopping on bandwagons. 

EDUCATE Yourself. 

Why Dating Apps are More Horrific Than Actual Dates

The Ugly Truth About Your Later Twenties

All of my friends who are older than me have been telling me to live it up while I still have the chance. They claim that it's all downhill after you turn 28. According to them I have 2 more years until gravity and hard reality start hitting. I always thought they were exaggerating, or just reminiscing their glory days, but maybe I was wrong.

25 Things I've learned in 25 Years (Part 2)

Please click here to read the first half of 25 Things in 25 Years Part 1

25 things I’ve learned in 25 years (Part 1)

As my 25^th year of life has come and gone, I’ve taken up a great deal of time sitting and reflecting on the most valuable lessons I’ve learned in this lifetime. This article has been in the making for well over a year.  I’ve changed the lessons over and over and reprioritized them. It’s hard to pin down just 25 important lessons you wish you could tell a younger version of yourself. There’s a lot I’ve learned and yet, even more things that I don’t know. Life has thrown a lot of lessons at me, and many that I can attest have been learned the hard way. Here’s to life and the lessons it has taught me.

2014 Reflections

I once read that an arrow can only be shot forward after it's first been pulled back.
As 2014 comes to a close, it's important to take this time to reflect and look back on the past year, before moving forward to 2015.

I found this reflection inspiration on Pinterest.  Although it's a few years old, I think the content is still relevant and served as an excellent guide on glancing back over the pains, joys, and tribulations of the past year.

Soulmates

"There you are" crooned my soul.

Have you ever felt that moment of instant connection with another being? A moment so powerful that it awakens your spirit and serves as an affinity with your anima.

At a quarter century year old, I haven't committed to one individual in matrimony. I'm not saying I haven't found this person yet, because perhaps I have. Perhaps I've known them my whole life and God's timing hasn't joined us together in that way. Or maybe I've just seen them in passing. Maybe we still haven't crossed paths just yet. There's even the possibility I won't ever have such a person in my life.

You see, that's the thing about a soul mate… there's too much pressure. Most people think of their soul mate as the person they marry, someone who completes them, their other half, someone they belong to.

But I don't believe that.

I don't believe that I need anyone to complete me. I believe I am a beautiful whole, independent of whoever I choose to fall in love with. To be someone's other half implies there's a part of me missing. And while there are times I am most certainly lost, I am never missing.  I belong to no one, but myself.

I don't believe in the concept of a soul mate. I don't think there's one individual that can fulfill all of my needs. 

But I do believe in soul mates. 

There are people in my life who understand me on a subliminal level. Some deep connection exists between us, that only fate can explain. They may not understand all of me, but on some level they can fathom some depth of my soul.

These soul mates exist in many forms: in best friends, in teachers, in coworkers, lovers, family members, and even strangers on the street. It is with these beings that you find a connection, a bond, an intimate understanding.

I believe I have found soul mates in multiple people. I like to believe that each of us is so unique that no single person can possibly understand how complex each of us really is. You can have a food soul mate, a companion soul mate, a religious soul mate, a sex soul mate. All the intricate details that are woven into our lives, there is a special soul mate that can compliment each of them.

You know you've found one of your soul mates when you feel as if you're the only person that has ever felt or thought a certain way and then they reply, "me too." It is in these instances that our souls connect and somehow we have flirted with fate.

Other times, words may not even have to be expressed to know you've found one of your soul mates. But someway, somehow, they are familiar and comfortable to you. Perhaps from another time or place, but you feel as if you know them.

Having soul mates is beautiful. Knowing that somehow the universe has reserved these other people for you, that your life will so gracefully intersect and align with. That at some exact moment in time, you will need each other.

They may be there for only moments, or they might be there for years. They may be fate's intervention to set you on the right path. They may be someone who will challenge your thoughts or arouse in you a passion. They may be someone who is there when you need someone to understand. They may serve as prompt to have faith in serendipity. Or maybe they exist so that we get a glimpse of what this world has to offer and what we can in turn offer it.

I may never spend the rest of my life with any of these souls, but they serve as a reminder that we are connected to something much greater than ourselves and even if it's only for a moment…  we are not alone.

The 14 Most Annoying People on Facebook

Oh Facebook. How you have evolved and changed over the years and made us all so very awfully addicted to you.  Sometimes I feel dependent on it to know what's going on, even if I never post anything. Facebook is great for many things such as getting updates on friends, seeing pictures, knowing what's going on in the word, keeping in touch, etc. However, Facebook has also created some of the most annoying users known to mankind. You all know who I'm talking about. So what do you do with all these people that irk your soul? It's not that they're bad people, you don't want to unfriend them by any means but you know if you see one more of their posts you just might go postal (no pun intended).  

Over the past few months I've been keeping tabs on some of the perpetual posts that are the most irritating. I learned about the "hide from newsfeed" feature, where you can ever so inconspicuously keep these people in your life and off your newsfeed.  After hiding the offenders of the following crimes, I will say Facebook has been a much more enjoyable experience. I've comprised the top 14 Facebook user I've found the most irritating, thus increasing my joy when I hide them.  Tell me what you think and feel free to add to the list of anyone I might have missed! 

The Top 14 Most Annoying Facebook Users: 

14. The Poker

X poked you. X poked you. X poked you. X poked you. According to Facebook.com's Help Center: "People poke their friends or friends of friends on Facebook for a lot of reasons (ex: just saying hello, getting their attention)." First of all, if you really want to get my attention, show up with booze or food and you're pretty much golden. Stop poking me. I'm neither a fire nor is it 2007. Stop poking.

13. The Gamer 

Games are awesome. I love games! However, I don't care what level you're on in Candy Crush, Pet Rescue Saga, Farmville or Underwater Tiddly Winks Basket Weaving. I play some of these too! Just hide it from your timeline bro.  I've literally found friends who's solid timeline is nothing but beating different game levels. Just simply switch the share button to off. You'll win cool points. 

12. The Stalker  

Why did you just like my photo from Spring 2009? Why did you just like my status from 8 weeks ago? Seriously?! What are you doing? 

I'm totally guilty of stalking people on Facebook. I might even be a professional stalker with all my social media and killer research resources. The key to stalking someone is not letting them know about it. 

11. The Event Enthusiast 

Blah invited you to this stupid event everyday, with everyone else in the world. If we're friends, you probably would have sent an actual invitation or message to your event. If this is a massive event you're trying to drum up support for, awesome.  But if we haven't hung out since we were in college, don't live in the same city, and don't enjoy the same events, please don't invite me and all of your other 800 closest friends to your events multiple times a week. 

10. The Overproud Mama 

Babies are precious and do adorable things.  I enjoy seeing funny/cute baby pictures and watching your child grow…. in doses. A picture or 2 a day is perfectly acceptable. However, I don't need to know a play by play of babyhood. Don't go on mommy overboard. Your child is precious and adorable to you, you're biologically programmed to think so. However no matter how amazing you think it is, you're kid is no Einstein for rolling over for the 800th time. If we're that close of friends, you'll message me adorable pictures, videos and the like and I'll actually go see your child I love in person, otherwise contain yourself. 

This Facebook user gives you a play by play of statuses and photos daily: Junior woke me up early! Junior is eating so well today! Junior is napping! Junior spit up! Junior needs a bath! Junior ate lunch! Junior took a shit!   Well…. I don't give a shit about Junior's shits. I'm pretty sure you'd be annoyed if I gave you a rundown of my day. Just got to work! Just stapled a paper! Just made a copy! Just entered data! Just gave a presentation! Just went to lunch! Bored yet? I am and it's my story. 

9. The Lovebirds

Facebook has in my opinion and experience (and psychological research) done nothing but put strife into relationships. Facebook can be a great way to show love, IN MODERATION.  If you're constantly tagging your significant other, posting about how much you love them, or you're the only person that's written on their wall… usually the contrary is happening.  If you're that damn happy you should be making out with your lover, not letting everyone else in the world know how much you want them to know you're faking happy. 

8. The Meteorologist 

There's these wonderful technological innovations we have been blessed with that can all tell us about the weather: apps, the internet, the television, the radio, walking outside…. Thank you sir. I had no idea it was ball freezing cold outside until you posted it. I'm so glad to know. What?! You're sweating and posted a picture because its 105 outside?! How is that possible? (I really wish there was a sarcasm font) 

7. The Bi-Polar Updater 

If I can give you a clinical diagnosis or question your sanity based off of your status updates… there's your sign. 

I'm the luckiest guy on earth to be with her! I can't believe I'm alone again. So glad things worked out I couldn't be happier. Cheaters will ALWAYS be cheaters. Life is great and falling back together. I want to crawl in a dark pit and die. OMG me and my gf are pregnant! 

Crazy?! Yes… Yes it is. If these are what your status updates look like within a few days or even hours of each other, please seek professional guidance and medication. 

6. The Political Guru 

I love people who are strong in their beliefs, I'm one of them.  But engaging in a political debate on Facebook is annoying for everyone involved. First of all, people usually don't argue too logically on Facebook, which is even more irritating than what they're arguing about. Secondly, if you really feel that passionate about an issue, join an activist group and do something about it instead of bitching. Lastly, do you really think you're going to engage in blind conversation and convince someone to change their mind on an issue via Facebook?  Go to a coffee shop, meet this person in person and intelligiblely argue your points, instead of hiding behind technology. 

5. The WTF Would You Post Thater 

There are things we post on Facebook: funny things, pictures, quotes, prayer requests, news, lyrics. However there is a very definite line between things acceptable to post to Facebook and things acceptable to only tell your therapist. There's really no grey area here. 

4. The Perpetual Gym Goer 

Dingleberry checked in at gym. Dingleberry is with their personal trainer. Dingleberry posts pictures of their workout supplements. Dingleberry has their app linked to tell you how many calories they burned today. Dingleberry has a cheat day and eats 1 whole slice of pizza. Dingleberry checked in at the gym again. Dingleberry is a perpetual pain in the ass.  Unless Dingleberry went to the gym and recorded someone falling off the treadmill and smacking their face, I'm not interesting in how many times they go to the gym or eat right. 

3. The Self Liker 

Do you know a person that likes their own statuses? Do you know a person who is over the age of 18 and takes constant selflies? You may recognize this person because they: 

a. have entire albums dedicated to themselves and the selfies they took
b. they post random quotes or vague song lyrics with their selfies for attention
c. they like what they post

If you need that much attention, get a dog, or a minion. If you don't like what you post.. then WTF would you post it? Liking your own stuff is like high-fiving yourself. Instead you need a high five… in the crotch with a baseball bat. 

2. The Doctor Checker Inner 

Everyone knows that person that checks in to the doctor's office or emergency room. Unless you've been committed to the insane asylum, are giving birth or are in the emergency room for trying to do an Evil Knievel stunt that you videoed, there is no need to tell anyone on Facebook about it. "What's happened?" "Oh private message me; I'll tell you later; Just a minor boo boo" STAWWWWP. If you don't want anyone to know why you're there… then don't let them know where you are. Stop baiting a hook to jerk it away. If it's a minor boo boo… stop wasting time, money and valuable medical resources at the emergency room. 

1. The Show Ruiner 

There is a very special place in hell reserved for these people. Before I found the "hide" feature, I would actually refuse to get on Facebook until I got caught up on a show or saw a movie. Some of us have other responsibilities or obligations and may not be able to watch a show right as it premiered. Spare us. Please. If I was that anxious to know how something ended, I would have read the book first or googled show spoilers. If you want to say that was a great ending… go for it. But if you are the sorry mother effer that spoils the plot or ending for me, you can go play with gasoline and matches.  I don't parade around your house telling your kid Santa isn't real, but trust me I will more than volunteer to give them that news and bursts their bubble, the way you did mine. Please quit crushing my soul.
There are shows I've waited weeks/months to watch and some idiot on Facebook gives away how it ends. Stop being a loud mouth. Keep it to yourself. I promise you won't pressure cook by not telling everyone on Facebook how a movie or show turned out. I actually can pretty accurately predict you'll continue to live on just fine. Your safety however is not guaranteed if you ruin another show, book or movie for me, or anyone else for that matter. 

And thus concludes the top 14. 

I know one person that has no less than committed 8 of these 14 heinous acts. I can't decide whether they should stay hidden, whether they should be deleted or whether I should just keep them around because they make me feel good about myself. Thoughts?

What about you? Any other awful Facebook users you know?

Easy Spring Rolls

What's that? Sunshine?! Thank goodness!!! I was thinking I was starting to get Seasonal Affective Disorder with all the cool weather and cloudy days. Granted, living in Corpus the weather is pretty mild, but this has been the coldest, longest winter I can ever remember.

So here we are and Spring has sprung (or is at least trying to spring).  Time for some tasty, cool-down easy recipes.  Today I'll walk you through how to make easy (and oh quite tasty) Spring rolls. They're also healthy! DOUBLE WIN.

Whenever I create cook in the kitchen, I find several recipes I like and combine them, add some more stuff and make them my own. 

Start by making the Peanut Dipping Sauce. 

For this you'll need: 

• 4 TBS Peanut Butter
• 4 TBS Hoisin Sauce
• 6 TBS Water
• 2 TBS Sugar
• 1.5 tsp Sesame Oil 
• Dash of Soy sauce

Mix all ingredients in a sauce pan and heat through, stirring often until consistency is reached. This only took about 5 minutes. Be sure not to overcook!

It should turn out a nice deep carmel color. 

Now pause and take a drink of wine. You just made some kickin' Asian sauce!

If you're feeling extra fancy, feel free to add some chopped peanuts on top.

Now on to the Spring Rolls!

You will need: 

• Rice paper
• Cooked Vermicelli 
• (add noodles to boiling water, cook for 3 minutes, stir constantly and VOILA. Cooked vermicelli)
• Be sure to let it cool 
• Cooked Shrimp (because YUM) 
• I get the frozen pre-cooked ones and just thaw em out!
• Lettuce
• Matchstick Carrots (because this is much easier than cutting them) 
• Cucumber

Peel your cucumber with a vegetable peeler. Cut off the ends. Cut into small strips. 

Take out rice paper. It will be about the consistently of card stock (please be prepared for weird metaphors) 

Soak in water for about 2 minutes. You can do about 3 pieces of paper at a time. 

WARNING: Rice paper is tricky to work with and you have to work fast, so maybe start with just 1 piece of paper and work your way up. I promise practice makes perfect! It did for me at least. 

Take the rice paper out of water. Now it will be a really gross consistency. I honestly can't think of a good metaphor besides a very thin, sticky condom. GROSS. Now put your damp paper on a cloth to get rid of some of the moisture.

Take a really quick big gulp of wine, because ew… you can't be expected to deal with this texture.

Arrange some shrimp. 

Add your vermicelli, carrots and cucumber in layers. Top with lettuce. Now comes the tricky part… the rolling. Weed was never my drug of choice, so rolling isn't really my thing. If we had to uncork these bad boys on the other hand, watch out! Anyways I borrowed this nice visual display from This Travel Blog.

Like it says, start with your filling at the edge. 

Fold in sides over filling. 

Start rolling!

Please keep in mind the tighter you roll/fold, the better it will turn out. 

Also… this texture is gross and sticky, so make sure you don't let the paper stick to itself. 

Now take another quick break…. drink some wine. That was a lot of work!

If your first few rolls are ugly.. don't worry you're not alone. You will get better. My first few were definitely fails, but you know try, try again. 

Now you have a Spring Roll!!!!

Plate and serve with the tasty peanut sauce.

Oh and of course… a glass of wine! 

Traditionally sake is the Asian wine of choice, but since on my 22nd birthday after a little too much sake at Asia D'Bistro… I don't drink the stuff. 

So I would suggest a Viognier or some other dry, nutty white wine. 

Cheers!

Yes I'm Single: Now Please Stop Helping

Ahhh single-ship. Who ever hoped to be stranded on THAT boat (again)?

Being recently single isn't the worst thing ever, shoot it even has some perks! But in all honesty being single for the first time after a long term relationship is a big adjustment. Even in a lot of ways I never imagined. I could write a whole article on that… but I digress.

During my college days I was intermittently single, so the single-ship isn't all that unfamiliar. Granted I haven't been single for some huge span of time, but I haven't been on a first date in almost 3 years!

During the last few months my friends have been some really amazing, supportive people.  From inviting me out, to listening to me vent, being inspiring, taking my mind off things and just being there for me; they've been great and have really helped me through a very difficult time in life.

However, sometimes your helping is actually hurting so... please stop. Friends, colleagues, coworkers, parents: I know you all mean well and have the best intentions in mind, but for the love of wine, think about what you're REALLY saying to me or how I could interpret it.

So here is a list of the things that all of us onboard the single-ship would like for you to please stop saying and/or thinking and/or doing. One day we will abandon ship or walk the plank or be the man (or woman) overboard and probably say these same arsholeish things… but until then please, just stop.



"There's plenty of fish in the sea"

You're right, there are plenty of fish in the sea.  However, I'm a mermaid and cross-species dating isn't my thing. There are roughly six billion people in the world. About 1/2 are male. If we take out the ones that  are under 18 (well let's be honest, 25 to account for maturity), the ones that are married, and the ones that are gay, that leaves a pretty small pool. Then if we factor in intellectual compatibility, similar interests and attraction… there's not a great deal of people left.

"You should just have some fun! You need a rebound"

Last time I checked, I didn't play for the Spurs. My broken heart won't be healed by a string of one night stands. In fact, it will probably just make me feel worse about myself and wonder what I'm doing with my life.

"You should try online dating"

Clearly. I have exhausted all other options of ever finding a seemingly normal person the traditional way and the only way anyone would ever go on a date with a freak like me is if they hadn't met me in person first. I'm single so there MUST be something wrong with me and I'm only capable of being with someone as equally messed up that I met via the web.

Maybe one day I'll try it,but for now... between the horror stories I've heard, not wanting to be the next Ted Bundy victim, not wanting to get rejected via an e-profile, and not wanting to meet some sap that just wants to get laid, I think I'll pass.

"Just wait until you have kids..." 

First of all, who said I wanted kids? Don't get me wrong I love being an aunt, the shower thrower, your token friend without kids, but please stop acting like I haven't done anything with my life because I haven't procreated. I'm single and you have a family or are expanding your family…. it's almost like your kids are the salt on the unmarried wound I already have. I'm happy you're happy and your life is falling in place! Really I am! But mine isn't, so I feel like I haven't teed off yet and you're putting for birdie.

"When you get married..."

I've spent the last two years thinking I was fixing to be planning a wedding, but now I'm not. I'm glad to be a part of yours and yes I'd love nothing more than for you to look at my Pinterest boards and see how awesome I was picturing it being, but let's just not talk about it. I don't even have a prospective groom, so let's stop fantasizing about my dead dream. My real prince charming may be sick of weddings just like I am and we'll want to elope!

"It's better to have loved and lost than live with a psycho for the rest of your life"

I agree. But tell Claire Underwood that. Admittedly this one is quite funny, but after I've heard it for the 50th time… it starts to make me question if you ever supported my former relationship. Even though it's over, it was a really big part of my life and heart. It's my job to call him a douche, but it's your job to say chin up darling, God has something better in mind.

"But you're so awesome!"

Um DUH. Yes I know how awesome I am, which makes it all the more perplexing to me why I'm single. I'm good looking, I have a decent body, I'm intelligent, I have a good sense of humor.. I could keep going, but we both know how awesome I am (insert Barney Stinson self-five!).  I appreciate you thinking I'm awesome, so please try to find someone equally awesome for me to date or someone who is at least seemingly compatible rather than asking me why I didn't get the number of the 55 year old man who kept winking at me at happy hour.  I AM awesome, so I don't want to be pawned off to just anyone, especially if they are not of equal or greater awesomeness.

"You don't need anyone"

Yes I know that.  If I did need someone that would be called codependency, which is frowned upon (particularly by educated, self sufficient women like myself). No I don't need anyone, but I want someone to share my companionship with just like you have.

"You're single by choice/It's easy to find someone to date"

You're right. I clearly elected to always be third wheel. I don't want to be, but yes I am that person currently. I'm not just going to settle for the next person that walks by. Please stop acting like singleness is some sort of leprosy.

"If I were you I'd date… "

FALSE. Just stop. No you wouldn't.
I spent, as I mentioned college intermittently single. I had friends tell me, "You should date so and so I would!" Oh really? Then why don't you? That's right.. you wouldn't date them either. Just because that's the only other single person you know doesn't mean that I should automatically date them. Seriously? You wouldn't even consider it. So unless I get amnesia and forget I have standards NO.

Stop trying to relate

I already feel like a lame loser for trying to relate to a story you're telling by talking about my dad or ex boyfriend so that I fit in. (Whomp, whomp, whomp). Please stop trying to relate to me.  I feel like we have nothing in common when you won't stop talking about your husband or kids.  "It's so hard to get Junior to (insert parental task here)" You are trying to raise a human being, which is a horribly challenging task. I somehow don't see how talking about my day of office politics, walking around my house pantless, drinking a bottle of wine or eating a carton of ice-cream story is something you can really relate to right now or even something that you'd be interested in listening to.

"I know how you feel"

Do you? I'm seriously doubting that, considering you haven't been single since N*Sync had a chart topper and someone asked you out via a paper football. Not everyone finds the next love of their life the same week they broke up with the previous love of their life. Not all of us find "the one" in college.  Dating isn't quite the same when you're out in the working world. So no, you have no idea how I feel. I thought I was fixing to get engaged and now I have to start dating all over again and that is TERRIFYING.

Single isn't the JV team

Please stop acting like you get married and live happily ever after. Getting married isn't some trophy you win. It isn't the end all, be all. I don't need to join the special Olympics because I'm single. You're not better than me because you're married, so please don't act like I have some disability because I'm not on the same level as you. Marriage isn't some prize you win after your life has fallen together perfectly.

"You should put yourself out there more"

It may be easy to find someone to date if you're Carrie Bradshaw or you have lots of other single friends to go out with, but currently I live in a city where none of my friends are single. I go to work, the gym, home (repeat). So unless someone finds me attractive while I'm doused in sweat or has some horrible reason to come to my office, we won't meet. And I haven't exactly met anyone I would go to dinner with at a bar. Besides when's the last time you went to dinner/a bar/a movie alone? Oh.. never.

Whoever said the average age of getting married for females in the US was 27, clearly didn't use South Texas in their sample. I might as well be a spinster at the ripe age of 25. Most people here are married, with kids by 25, making it difficult for an ambitious woman like me to find someone who has also not been married, doesn't have kids, and has a job. Did I mention I live in Corpus Christi, one of the douchiest cities in the nation? Trying to meet someone here that's not a baby daddy or isn't wearing an Affliction shirt is about as realistic as Bigfoot riding away on a unicorn.

"You're young and beautiful this should be the funnest part of your life"

I couldn't agree with you more.  This should be a time I'm traveling the world, climbing the career ladder, dating whoever I want… but I'm not. I somehow feel like I'm light years behind everyone else because I haven't hit any major life milestones yet. By the time I get to have a bachelorette party, I'll have to provide daycare at it. This should be a great time of self exploration and freedom before I settle down, but I have no one to do it with. No significant other and no one who doesn't have to call and check in with the babysitter or hubs to do so. Everyone else started pairing up to get on the ark and I was just trying to get through grad school. Now I understand how the dinosaurs felt.

So there you have it the good, the bad, the ugly. Being single isn't as glamorous as Sex and the City pretends it to be, but it's not as miserable as Eeyore makes it out to be either. So to all you other singles out there, I hope you can relate.  To everyone else, as Ali so eloquently puts it, "Sometimes it can be hard when someone who recently just got married, or someone who was single at “some” point in their past, tries to give lots of advice how to live the single life." (More of her blog here!) 

So please, all I ask of you is to just continue to love and support me, just the way I am. 

XOXO

Cort